


Arthur and The Great Dragon

by IAmANonnieMouse



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, Dragon AU, Eames is a dragon, M/M, One-Shot, Sort of? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 03:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: When it was that time of year to pick a sacrifice to the great dragon in the mountains, the villagers unanimously voted for Arthur.Arthur couldn’t quite bring himself to feel sad.**Now featuringa fantastic podficbyflosculatory!**





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [a post on Tumblr](http://iamanonniemouse.tumblr.com/post/158901639447/leafy-yawn-dragoninanerdbody#notes) the other day that mentioned how any story can be vastly improved with dragons. And then I started thinking of Arthur and Eames. And then I wrote this.
> 
> Unbeta'd, and written just as I was about to head to bed. All typos present are entirely mine.

When it was that time of year to pick a sacrifice to the great dragon in the mountains, the villagers unanimously voted for Arthur.

Arthur couldn’t quite bring himself to feel sad.

“I’m so sick of all of them!” he told himself. “With their small minds and their snooty ways and their silly gossiping! Who cares if this dragon eats me? At least I’ll be rid of them!”

So he straightened his perfectly-tailored tunic and walked out of the village without a second thought.

It took him all day to reach the tallest peak of the tallest mountain. He stopped outside the opening of the cave and called, “Hello? Great dragon? Your annual sacrifice has arrived!”

A great cloud of smoke billowed from the opening of the cave and a voice thundered, _“Who dares disturb the great dragon?”_

“Me,” Arthur said, folding his hands behind his back. “I was elected to be your sacrifice this year.”

He waited for a response. The smoke thinned and faded. From the darkness, a long, serpentine shape emerged, slowly slinking towards him.

“And who are you?” the great dragon asked.

“Arthur,” said Arthur. 

“Hmph,” the great dragon said. “Usually the person they send me is screaming by now.”

Arthur shrugged. “I don’t really scream a lot. Sorry.”

“Hmph,” the great dragon said again. “It’s quite alright. It hurts my ears when people scream.”

“Me too,” Arthur said.

The great dragon edged closer to the opening of the cave, so that the very tiniest tip of its long snout was in the fading sunlight. “So,” the great dragon said, “you aren’t scared?”

Arthur shrugged again. “I am,” he admitted. “But I hate the villagers. So this is a nice change, even if I am about to die.”

“Die?” the great dragon said, incredulous. _“Die?”_ It shook itself in agitation, and more of its snout emerged from the cave. “You think I would kill you?”

Arthur frowned. “Isn’t that what you do to all the sacrifices sent to you?”

The great dragon snorted. “Of course not! Once they stop screaming, I send them back home!”

Arthur thought about that. “They never came back,” he said.

The great dragon sniffed. “That’s not my fault. And it’s very unkind of you to blame that on me.”

“Well,” Arthur said, “why did you think we kept sending you people?”

“I don’t know!” the great dragon exclaimed. “I always wanted to ask, except every time I tried to talk, the girls would all start screaming again.” It tilted its head to the side, eyes glimmering in the fading light. “Is that why you aren’t screaming?” it asked. “Because you aren’t a girl?”

Arthur looked down at his feet. “I’m…different,” he said. “I don’t…I read and study nature instead of searching for a wife and caring for the farm. I’m not as...emotional as the others. And the other villagers don’t like that. So now I’m here.”

The great dragon pondered this. “Well I’m glad you’re like that,” it declared. “Because now we can be friends.” The great dragon hesitated. “We…we _can_ be friends, right?”

“Sure,” Arthur said. “I would be glad to be your friend.”

“Wonderful!” the great dragon cried. “I’m going to come out now. Please don’t be scared.”

“I won’t,” Arthur said.

The great dragon emerged from the cave, its brilliant, shimmering scales glowing in the light from the setting sun.

“Oh,” Arthur breathed. “You’re beautiful.”

The great dragon turned to face him, the whiskers on either side of its nose twitching. “You really think so?”

Arthur nodded, wide-eyed. 

“Thank you,” the great dragon murmured, ruffling its scales. 

Arthur gently ran a hand down its side, marveling at the gentle smoothness under his skin. “What should I call you?” he asked. “I don’t think you like the name Great Dragon.”

“No, I don’t,” the great dragon admitted. “But I don’t think you can pronounce my real name.”

“What is your real name?” Arthur asked.

The great dragon hissed something in its own language, tongue slipping out between its teeth.

Arthur hesitated. “I heard Eemes,” he offered.

The great dragon pondered that, rustling its scales. “Eames,” it said. “With an a after the e. I like that! I am Eames!”

Arthur grinned. “I’m glad you’re my friend, Eames,” he said.

“I’m glad too!” said Eames the great dragon. “Because now you can never leave me!”

“What?” asked Arthur. “Why not?”

“It’s the rule,” said Eames the great dragon. “Friends of the great dragon are never allowed to leave the great dragon alone again.” It settled on the ground, curling its body around Arthur. “I’ve been so very lonely,” Eames whispered, whiskers drooping. “I would like to have a friend now.”

Arthur smiled and rested his hand on the tip of Eames’ snout. “I would like that, too,” he said.

“Hooray!” Eames the dragon cried, small tendrils of smoke curling from his nose in his excitement. “I have a friend!”

“Hooray,” Arthur echoed, softer. He stepped closer, pressed his forehead against Eames’ snout, and let his eyes close. “Hooray.”

Eames rumbled contentedly, and they stayed like that until the moon was high in the sky above them.

**Author's Note:**

> I am on [Tumblr!](http://iamanonniemouse.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Arthur and The Great Dragon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796912) by [flosculatory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flosculatory/pseuds/flosculatory)
  * [chickens & nightmares](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345448) by [flosculatory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flosculatory/pseuds/flosculatory)




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